Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8 am.

The next day at 8:45 there’s a knock at the personnel manager’s door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up.

The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backing up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee.

She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The personnel manager starts to laugh hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman and says:

“I’m sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles!”