Three blondes were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland.
They saw a sign that read "Disneyland Left"

So they went home

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Muslims".