Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.
--- Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
--- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

No matter how good he looks, some other girl is sick and tired of putting up with his crap.
--- Women's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
--- Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
--- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

No wonder you always go home alone.
--- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.

Beauty is only a light switch away.
--- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
---The Irish Times, Washington, DC

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
--- Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
--- Revolution Books, New York, New York

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
--- Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light.
---The Janitor

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
--- Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

The following ad was found in "The Atlanta Journal":

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE,Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good-looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickuptruck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lyingby the fire. Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front doorwhen you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Kiss me and I'm yours.
Call 372-4824 and ask for Daisy

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society
aboutan 8 week-old Labrador retriever puppy.